Fear of unknown

It's bizarre. No, I'll be honest: it's scary seeing all these young engagements happening. I haven't even figured out my summer plans, and several friends are getting married. I know this does not pertain to all, but I just can't see myself getting married so early. At weddings often do they vow in words such as thus:

"For better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness or in health, to love and to cherish, 'til death do us part, according to God's holy ordinance; thereto I pledge my love."

Now those are grave words, friend. What solemnity and gravity with which those promises should be honored before God and men -- until you die. You don't say those words until you have truly found the person with whom you want to spend the rest of your life with. In this day and age, I find myself too inadequate, too immature to commit to such a vow. And don't get me wrong; such a statement is not to judge anyone. It brings but joy into my terribly mundane life -- to see the wonders of God's work in everyone's lives! I just wish that I had clearer directions from God, like they do. I wish God would write His plans on a post-it note and put it on my refrigerator -- like Laura. :-P And I know how typical it is of me as a college student to complain of insecurity about imminent future. I wish I didn't have to sacrifice some of my dreams and ambitions in case an "if" becomes the "real."

And yes; I pray that I will pray more fervently and persistently evermore, so that I don't have to bother my spiritual siblings with such petty complaints!

Because in the end, He is the one who holds the red string. He has told me what is good; and what does the Lord require of me but to do justice, to love kindness, and to walk humbly with my God?

One Day I will leave this body
and I will get a perfect one
That day I will see His glory
shining like the Central Florida sun
One day, I'll take a walk with Jesus
He might explain the mysteries of life
Some say, I just can't believe it
but I know that one day

One Day, death will be abolished
And sin will have its mastery no more
And I know that we will be astonished
At all that our Creator has in store
One day we will meet our Savior
And He will give each one of us a stone
Engraved with our names upon it:
known by God alone.

Ah, how my soul earnestly longs for His return.