Better question -- why do I worry at all?
Within the thin pages of the BOOK lies the typical Sunday School answer. "Because we are sinners!" I hear a 5 year-old say. Well, we knew that. We even knew that we cannot add a single hour to our lives by worrying. Jesus said so. All simple and good. Moving on.
Isn't it interesting though? I cannot simply move on. This cripple of a being, so utterly incapable of exercising faith and dwelling in peace. The habits of the flesh are so frustrating. I am not advocating sheer and mindless complacency about civic responsibilities, but why can't we seem to cease worrying? Isn't human heart so freakishly interesting and fickle?
I always know that I live for Christ. Yet I always let the world deceive me and think that I live for myself. Riches and fames and loves. Vanities of vanities of vanities. There exists a diversion in the mind of a twentieth-first century product. The world bombards us with messages and blurs our focus -- through media, education, peers, and unfortunately in some cases, through churches. A curious tension between instincts for survival and spiritual thirst exists within everyone of us. To survive in the twentieth-first century, must get good grades. Must graduate college. Must get stable and high-paying jobs. Must win the affections of beautiful men and women. &c, &c, &c.
There is a certain quote to which I hold unsympathetic feelings, but it seems to be the motto of many today. Often attributed to Ralph Waldo Emerson, it defines and exalts the success of this world. It is such a disgustingly triumphant hymn of self-reliance.
"To laugh often and much;
To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children;
To earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends;
To appreciate beauty, to find the best in others;
To leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition;
To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived.
This is to have succeeded."
Doesn't sound too bad, does it? Success however does not give us our ultimate peace; it instead echoes eternal groanings for grandeur. Sadness sets in in thinking about those who pursue themselves. In looking for yourself, "you will find only despair and decay," C. S. Lewis once said. The words become truer to me with every failure, with every revelation of my own wretchedness. But for myself, I have set my heart on Christ who offers redemption and in that I have freedom. What affliction then -- must the lost world feel! What detachment, what separation must they experience in day to day living. Chasing after dreams that will soon perspire into darkness, toiling for rewards that will eventually rot away, directionlessly running towards a goal that will emerge empty. They work hard, but they do not know why they are doing it!
Indeed, while I am in this tent, I too groan, being burdened, because I do not want to be unclothed but to be clothed, so that what is mortal will be swallowed up by life. With each and every advancement, I realize more and more that I will never get to where I should be in this life. Such a realization, however does not despair me -- it frees me! The saving knowledge of Christ's cross frees me. Because apart from Him I can do nothing; because He works through all things for His glory; because I only can and will to trust. The self can die so that it may rise in glory and be eternally freed. What sweet freedom in Christ, what mystery of the gospel.
Apostle Paul once said, "whatever is not from faith is sin." But do not despair about such an impossible command; find yourselves lifted up by the gentle and humble Shepherd Himself. Find and drink up the rest for your souls found in the Living Word, and be filled by the power of the Spirit. No longer be bound to chains of death, but find yourselves under the yoke of Christ, ready to labor for His Kingdom because that is the foremost desire of your hearts. Be joyfully vulnerable about yourself; be ready to love in the most self-ruinous way. God Himself demonstrated His love for us when He gave up His only, only begotten Son to die the excruciating, humiliating death of the cross to invite strangers in. Today, you have seen and heard; you have encountered the risen Christ. Submit to Him and let Him mold you. Be freed from self.
As for the problem of diversion in our society today, let us continue to exhort and encourage each other with the Word! Not merely in brief quotations, but let us gladly allow each other to know how the Word is directing our lives. Let us be joyfully vulnerable to talk about what we have seen and heard. I am jealous of the early church in this regard -- in that they only had real Christians. Of course, human problems abound and they had their own problems, but how I long for such authenticity (and collectivism) in the local body of Christ!
Let me conclude my midnight ramblings with Paul's thoughts. This post has been all over the place already:
"According to my earnest expectation and hope, that I will not be put to shame in anything, but that with all boldness, Christ will even now, as always, be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death.
For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. But if I am to live on in the flesh, this will mean fruitful labor for me; and I do not know which to choose.
But I am hard-pressed from both directions, having the desire to depart and be with Christ, for that is very much better; yet to remain on in the flesh is more necessary for your sake. (and for God's glory!)
Convinced of this, I know that I will remain and continue with you all for your progress and joy in the faith, so that your proud confidence in me may abound in Christ Jesus through my coming to you again.
Only conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ, so that whether I come and see you or remain absent, I will hear of you that you are standing firm in one spirit, with one mind striving together for the faith of the gospel."
- Phil 1:20-27
In the end, God works all things according to His good will. As for myself, this I do, for Him.
Very nice post, my dear.
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