Here are some quotes on parenting that I resonated deeply with recently (yes, yes, how postmodern of me). They are from Brené Brown's book, Dare Greatly: How the Courage to be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead. It may not be your season to read such a book, but I found these thoughts helpful as I think about how to raise my own kids. This is a window into my journey of moving out of pitiless perfectionism for myself and my children into a place of uncertainty by faith in God and with the help of God.
"Who we are and how we engage with the world are much stronger predictors of how our children will do than what we know about parenting." (p.216)
"[Don't let parenting] be about knowing, proving, executing, and measuring rather than being." (p.218)
"[Our goal is to raise children who] carry a sense of authenticity and belonging with them, rather than searching for it in external places, who have the courage to be imperfect, vulnerable, and creative, who don't fear feeling ashamed or unlovable if they are different or if they are struggling, who move through our rapidly changing world with courage and a resilient spirit." (p.218,9).
I am ever grateful to my mother who modeled what it means to be authentic, who always affirmed my worthiness and cultivated my sense of belonging, and believed in me despite my many failures and mistakes throughout my childhood. That does not mean she was or is perfect; we had our shares of conflicts and tears too. Yet I am happy and grateful to say that today she is one of my dearest counselors and friends. She has been to me a precious picture of living faith which was an ever-flowing source of inspiration and spiritual energy for me as a child and a young adult. I hope to pass on the same gift to my children.
Thus the journey out of perfectionism into a place of being in Christ.
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